What to Do When God Closes Doors: Praying for Nearness, Not an Open Gate

I typically like to write about experiences once they are behind me. Passing time provides perspective. Continuity of thought validates an experience as something more than a transient idea.

Today is different. Today there is an immediacy to the present concept, and a fear that the intensity of conviction will pass with time.

My faith journey is over a decade long now. Yet I continue to be amazed at the newness of some of the lessons I learn, the cyclical nature of much of the learning, and the isolation that comes from a deep relationship with God. Before you launch into a “community” lecture, let me just share that it is often in Christian community that I feel the most alone.

Not Doors, but Gates

When I first thought of writing this post, I considered the title “When All the Doors Are Closed,” building on the oft-repeated notion that God opens and closes doors to show us His path. But doors in a solid wall do not represent where I find myself.

No, this moment is better captured by the image of a fenced-in area with multiple gates, all locked shut. I could climb over the fence if I so desired, but I know the fence is there for my protection. To climb over and move away would be to disregard God’s plan.

While all the gates are closed, options remain.

Where to live, where to work, whether to work, what to work on, and so many other questions remain.

I’ve not had my own place for nearly two years, yet God has provided shelter.

I’ve not had a traditional job for over four years, yet God has provided resources.

I’ve lost many relationships over the past decade, yet God has provided community I need.

During the past month I’ve heard the call to move across the country to a place I never imagined living. Yet finances, as they exist today, will not support such a move.

In the last week, the work that has served as my primary source of income was given a new timeline, with things changing drastically after the first of the year. And I welcome the change, because it feels like the plan: the ground under my feet as I look out over the fence and the closed gates.

And then there are relationships, one in particular. God has linked me to this person in inexplicable ways for more than nine years. Our lives have been intertwined for much of that time. God’s fingerprints are all over our time together. Yet boundaries that frustrated me in the past I now see as boundaries placed by God, pointing me to this moment. If I look over the fence, I can see an obvious potential outcome. Obvious to me, anyway. But God has never been burdened by my assumptions.

Here inside the fence line, I can only remain open-handed, palms down,* while I wait for a gate to open.

What Now?

All of these (work, income, location, and relationship) are, apparently, closely connected. All gates lead to one path. Or so it seems from where I stand today. But without answers, without the ability to see that path, I am burdened with one question: What now?

It’s not an unfamiliar question. In fact, it’s one that appears hundreds of times in my journals from the last decade.

The Paths Inside the Fence

But while the notion of God opening and closing doors, as discussed in contemporary Christian circles, often focuses on what lies beyond those doors, this is no door in a wall. He has provided a fence I can see through. The potential is all there, visible in front of me, not hidden behind a wall. The only questions are the path and the timing.

And yet this fence has turned my focus inward. Not to the paths outside the fence, but to the paths inside. Have I worn paths toward work? Toward income? Toward a relationship? Or have I worn a spot in the ground where my knees landed in prayer?

There are times God asks us to tug on a gate to see if the path beyond is His will for us. For me, today is not that day.

The call today is not to “trust” God to open the right gate. Not to ponder the paths beyond. Rather, it is to hit my knees and pray for greater humility, greater trust, greater reliance on God. For no matter how much we abide in Christ, no matter how humble we are, there is always more to be experienced, more to be released.

The gates close to limit distraction, to prevent travel down paths in the wrong direction. A focus on the future risks missing today. So don’t rush the path or the timing. Ask what God wants of you in this moment, in this fenced-in field of grass. Not what tomorrow might hold, but what can be done here, now.

Pray for Proximity, Not an Open Gate

We are not called simply to be patient and trust; we are called ever closer. Sometimes the only way to get closer to God is to stop moving. Let the old fall away and the new come upon you slowly. Be thankful for the closed gates. Don’t waste your time waiting; spend your time kneeling. And pray for proximity to God, not an open gate.

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* Why “palms down” while I wait? Palms up signals receiving, yet God has already provided. Palms down reminds me that I hold nothing and surrender all at the foot of the cross. God returns what I need, when I need it. Nothing remains mine.